Saturday, 6 December 2014

Secondary Infertility - An Ache That Burns Deep

Since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to be a mom. I even remember wanting to steal my daycare lady's baby and keep her as my own at the age of 9. Ha! I swear I'm not creepy. I just loved babies so, so much. That sweet smell, those big, beautiful eyes, those soft chubby cheeks. Sigh... They are so cute when they are tiny and new.

Fast forward almost 20 years later to when I met my husband. We had discussed children early on, and I made it pretty clear that children had always been part of my life plan. So within a few months of getting married, I was fortunate to get pregnant with our daughter after only trying for one month. Wow, that was easy! The pregnancy wasn't a walk in the park but, by the end, we had the most beautiful little girl with the biggest, roundest blue eyes I'd ever seen. We were over the moon!

Within a few years we were ready to start trying for another child so Z would have a sibling. I wanted my children to be a few years apart so it was time to start trying. I had gotten pregnant so easily with Z that I was sure my husband would just look at me funny and I'd be pregnant. Well, that did not happen.

We tried for a few years and nothing was happening. I had mentioned the issue to my doctor after about the first year and she said, "pray and keep trying. You'll get pregnant eventually." Wrong. I prayed, I wished, I hoped, we tried and nothing happened. To make matters worse, everyone I knew was getting pregnant. And each time I heard the news, it felt like a dagger in my heart. Why was it so easy for everyone else but me? Why was my body failing me? I spent many days lying in my bed in a pool of tears, empty, sad and feeling like a failure.

And no matter what anyone says, secondary infertility isn't any less painful than someone who is infertile and hasn't had children. I remember feeling guilty for my sadness because I already had a baby, and I wondered what right I had to be so devastated by this inability to conceive for a second time. People would say, "well at least you have one baby." To me it didn't matter. There was such a huge hole in my heart. So don't ever apologize for how you feel. The pain is just as raw.

Eventually, my doctor referred us to a fertility clinic and, I'm happy to say, I did eventually get pregnant after being on a fertility drug. The tests, the side effects of the drugs and the costs didn't make it the easiest process ever but I was so thankful to have my darling little boy.

I wish I had been given advice about using a holistic and natural approach to fertility rather than settling with the medical interventions we eventually had to turn to. I so appreciate what those amazing doctors did for me but I wish I had this alternative when I was first battling infertility.

Pregnancy Miracle was developed by Lisa Olson: a nutrition specialist, health consultant, Chinese medicine researcher and author who battled with infertility herself. Her system has helped thousands of women, just like you, permanently reverse their infertility, get pregnant quickly and give birth to healthy children. 

Whether you're in your 30s or 40s, have had tubal obstructions, variances in your hormone levels, a partner with low sperm count, a history of miscarriages, or uterine or fibroid cysts, this might make a difference for you.

Click here to see a video that might give you new hope for the happy ending you deserve.

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