Saturday, 11 January 2014

What is it Lassie? Did the baby throw up in his room?

I don't know about any of you but I get freaked out when our dog starts acting funny. Like when she whines for no reason, or circles around one area for a long period of time. I truly think dogs are extremely intuitive and are highly sensitive to things we as humans can't even comprehend.

Last night, after falling asleep watching Ghost Busters on the couch with my hubby, (by the way, best movie of all time), we made our way upstairs. The kids had been in bed for a few hours at this point, sound asleep. Hubby and I finally get ourselves tucked in and started getting romantic... with our smart phones... when the dog started whining and pacing around our room. We had just let her out to pee before we went upstairs so I was pretty sure she didn't need to go again. That being said, she has been known to have chronic bladder infections which makes her pee a lot. Apparently it's due to her abnormal vagina. I kid you not. Holly has a short vajayjay. Our vet said she may need vaginoplasty. If anyone is getting one of those, it should be me after pushing two kids from my loins. I'm not paying for our virgin dog to have one. That's just not fair. Oops, sorry... Slightly off topic.

So the dog didn't have to pee. I was pretty sure about that. So I say to my husband, "does it freak you out when the dog acts like this?" He asks, "why?" "I just get the feeling that she senses something I don't. Like there might be a fire starting somewhere in our house. Or there is a rapist hiding in the basement. Or you forgot your blood pressure pills or something," I explain.

She kept crying so I decided to get up and investigate. As I entered the hallway between our rooms, she immediately made her way for Ben's door and cried. Okay. So this must be the issue. I was so scared! My mind went to the worse case scenario. I'm going to find my little buddy lifeless in his crib. There was a story on the news about a mom who found her son dead in his crib a few days ago and it has been on my mind ever since then. I decide to open the door and immediately hear him breathing. Phew.... Thank goodness he is okay. But what is that smell?? I thought maybe a really bad poop but as I approached the crib I realized it smelled more like barf. I turn on the hallway light and sure enough, poor little guy had thrown up in his crib, on the floor, on his pjs and had fallen back asleep in his mess. I'm not sure how I missed him getting sick. I didn't hear him cry or make any noise at all. I felt so bad for the little guy. Mr. B says, "I guess Holly is our Lassie."

Hubs tackled his room while I cleaned him up and changed his clothes. Baby B stayed in bed with me, which I don't mind because he is not the most snugly of kids. I selfishly enjoy those moments when my kids just want to curl up with me. Mr. B took the couch. None of us slept well but thankfully he hasn't thrown up since. Miss Sassy Pants had a flu this past week and I supposed it has made its way to Baby B.

I guess the moral of the story is that our dogs, despite the fact they eat dirty diapers and piddle on the floor when company comes over, are actually pretty smart. And they are the guardians of our families. How will I reward our Holly girl today? Probably an extra treat or two. Maybe I'll let her sleep on the couch for a few minutes. But she is definitely not getting a vaginoplasty. Ever.

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